Telegraph's greatest Briton should be Guido. Obvious, innit ? Where else you gonna go to feed your fears and vent your spleen. Where else is free speech largely un fucking "moderated". Not at the Cunt BBC or in the Cunt MSM. Where else can you lampoon the parasite class in Westminster and The Street of a Thousand Arseholes and be fairly sure that they will read what you say. Not in your fucking local 'paper.
Reading Guido is of course, no substitute for direct action and it may be argued that the whole internet babble only short circuits, runs to earth, the legitimate civil grievance which should find constructive voice in civil disobedience - as in "fuck off back to Scotland you fucking hypocrite, snot-gobbling, paranoid bullyboy and take your gang of useless inbred nancyboys and girls with you, you fucking horrible fascist presbyterian cunt, before we string you up from the nearest fucking lamp post." being sung in harmony by thousands of citizens outside Downing Street - rather than in insomniacal here-today-gone-tomorrow bile from guiltily sleepless old men. Few of whom are plumbers, with a real grasp on the world.
No, such feeble resistance as there is is enabled only by entrepreneurs of dissent, like Guido. Internet opposition may grow to a movement; it doesn't, let's face it, have far to go to overtake the half million or so squabbling members of political parties. Fuck Cameron.He is dead tree politics. We should push it on and nominate Guido. Hail discord.
ps no offence but though he may not be Scotch, Clegg is just another cunt on the make. Won't have an ID card ? Wow
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
stanislav, a young dissident said...Telegraph's greatest Briton should be Guido.
Stanislav, plumber by royal appointment said...Whole fucking government is gayer than fucking Household Cavalry batman.
Stanislav beseech Tory cartoonist in bowels of Christ, in name of God and all the holy blood and bones and relics and saints and shit, NOT make follow-up horror drawing of BBCs Nick Robinson do self-fellate, (Is suck own cock, Dennis; yes, make bad back, but not bad like yours; yes and sore throat maybe, but great deliverance for Mrs Robinson) as is widely reported in GuidoWorld. Thought of shiny bald head bob up and down in unspeakable posture, in raincoat, in Downing Street more than poor Polish plumber can bear.
Think Ruth Man Kelly probably suck own cock, too; grunt and slobber in deep brown voice, make self blowjob, basso profundo. God willing. Hail Mary. Lash my thighs, Jesus, with that sweet barbed wire, Amen. BBC hunchback tranny Kirsty Wark always hoarse. Always smirk, like: You wouldn't believe what I can do, the noo.
Make cartoon instead maybe of new home secretary is cookery teacher from fucking Redditch, arsehole of Midlands. You need two cups of flour, one cup of butter and a pound of fresh bogeys. Or is two pounds ? Not very good with numbers is Frau Schmidt. Or make sketch of new foreign secretary, is boy on work experience placement. Can't get old man up so buy baby from Internet. Baptise kid Gordon Douglas. Poor little bastard, got teenage freak for dad, better in fucking orphanage than come in nest of snot-gobbling vipers: eat your bogeys up Gordon Douglas and then Uncle Gordon will read you one of his dead father's sermons. All about Evil. And then we'll all sit around, bite our nails and have a big happy extended family wanky-woo. Won't that be nice? Fuck me. Is NSPCC gone asleep? First mad cunt McCanns and now sterile teen father, Millipede. Can any mad, dickless lunatic bastard just go and buy a child? Or throw in fucking ocean?
Stanislav get email from relative in Poland. Come home Stanislav, you is losing it, no other country mad like this. Run by fucked-up-arse larcenous, whoring, degenerate, drug addict incompetents. You has washed up in the Land of the Living Dead. Get poorly, go in hospital and is tortured by lazy nurse and filthy drug addict doctor and get killed from Alan Johnstone's DirtyBastard Disease. Go in with bad toenail, come out in fucking box.
Can't smoke cigarette, can't drink pint of fucking beer, can't eat portion of chip but some useless unemployable bearded West Country harridan called Dawn of Terror come round house with troops and throw in fucking prison.
Good Queen Brenda say Fuck me, Phillip, is fucking head-chopping raghead bastard pretend king come in palace for dinner tonight; King fucking Ali Baba and Forty Fucking Thieves all come and want sheeps eyeballs and camel tongues for dinner, dirty fucking savages. Expect me, Queen of fucking England, provide anterooms with lines of chopped-up Fergie powder and young boys with grease-up arseholes. Raghead fucking Ali Baba better off go and have dinner with fucking nephew Linley. Young boy bottoms, I fucking ask you Phil, what world fucking coming to, minister in my fucking government is fucking babbling drug addict zombie whore, rant and rave like fucking lunatic on national tv. Prime minister in my fucking government is eat fucking snot in front of whole fucking commonwealth and rest of world. Not exactly last night of the fucking proms, eh Phil? How'm I supposed to go out and face thousands of fucking aboriginals laughing their brown bollocks off at what they've just seen this fucking hideous Scotch pansy doing on You fucking Tube? Whole fucking government is gayer than fucking Household Cavalry batman.
And I tell you this and you can bet your sorry Greek fucking arse on it, if I see cartoon of smirking breathless New fucking Labour cunt Nick Robinson with own cheesy knob in fucking gob I is fucking abdicate and make nutter son for King, see what they make of tha spoiled uselss daft bastard. God save me.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
stanislav said...drunken coke snorting bastard in House of Commoners is free to raise tax and make war
Caligula
Stanislav comment before on poor Ms Flint startling resemblance to urban phenomenon believe called crack whore. Seriously, show all signs. Is time for Priory. Paid for by taxpayer of course. Why is it that anybody in any responsible post is liable to random drug testing but subsidised drunken coke snorting bastard in House of Commoners is free to raise tax and make war without fear of urine sample? Everybody know the answer to that part of War On (sic) Drugs conundrum.
Is actually: "....government IS disintegrating rabble..." But otherwise is cool post. And God bless you and your horse.
Hail Caesar. We, who is about to be fucked up arse by governmant, salute you.
stanislav, a young grammarian said...They have no shame. As well as no sperm.
Mr Glenlivet at 2.36
"highly intelligent, sensible man with bags of common sense..." This'll be why he works for the cunt Murdoch, as well as his part-time work as an MP. It must be from reading all this intelligent shit in the Times that you have developed your idiosyncratic use of the apostrophe.
Not even a Polish plumber, were he, like you, pretending to powers of intellectual and journalistic discernment -which he wouldn't recognise if they bit him in the arse - would write: If only there were a few Michael Gove's in government.
Yep. Next thing we know people of UK pay mortgage of thieving, lying cunt doctors, major suspect in child slaying and for European holiday of fat fuckwit sister and lying cunt brother, who is Fife neighbour of arsebandit happy married nosepick prime minister, C-in-C Ist Westminster Rocking Horse Cavalry.
Until somebody prominent outs the horrible mad cunt Brown all this lower league hypocrisy will continue to flourish. Paternity leave. Fuck me. They have no shame. As well as no sperm.
Monday, October 29, 2007
stanisalv a young Polish plumber said...Heffer go straight down shaft, not fuck about.
Sorry, off topic
Impossibly pompous Daily Mail hack, Zionist and moral philosopher, Melanie Phillips Rosenberg, writes in her “diary” tonight, Sunday, that “Media circles” have known for a long time the identity of the Windsor blackmailee; the Royals, she suggests, should come clean. Sucking insatiably on the taxpayers’ BBC tit, the insufferable Phillips has obviously clean forgotten what journalists are supposed to do for a living. Maybe -with the equally obnoxious mouthy bastard Clare Fox and the simpering Michael Buerk - its one for the baroque farce that is the Moral Maze; should a journalist keep the secrets of the rich and powerful ? Your witness, Mel.
Spitting out her bilious, accusatory questions as though they were the Devil’s ejaculate the rancid, moralising harridan, Phillips, regularly -using the BBC as a bully pulpit - berates hapless non-media folk for their lack of openness and equates divergence from her own laughable world view with nostalgia for the Third Reich: Come, Professor Dipstick, I put it to you that your criticism of the Israeli shelling of Lebanese hospitals is pure Nazism. And so on she goes, ad fucking nauseum. Horrible bastard crone. But doesn’t breathe a word of Royal scandal. Probably lives by some axiom from the Daily Mail Big Book of Morality, don’t embarrass one’s betters; the problem is the wogs, not the establishment. And the unmarried mothers.
Hard to distinguish between the cunts in Westminster and the slags in the media. Who says the Street of a Thousand Arseholes is in Cairo?
In my country not fund loony Mel from taxpayer, nor lip-quivering dwarf baboon Simone Heffer nor Yasmin I-is-Muslim Alibhai Brown. In my country people has own morals, not get them off despicable media slag on BBC programme.
(ps Stanislaw only find Phillips’ po-faced drivel by accident; would not read nasty, belligerent, humourless. right-wing, glowering, stick insect nutter on purpose. No fear, cor blimey. Not for King’s fucking ransom. In my country persistent delusional aggressive person like Phillips go in hospital in countryside for long quiet rest and diazepam Soma holiday, birdsong and rainfall, weave basket, early nights, hot chocolate, put back in right mind, if possible. If not, drop down mineshaft and forget. Heffer go straight down shaft, not fuck about. Waste of space, innit. Here in Englo-Scotland, lunatic Phillips on platform berating ordinary citizen and painted hobgoblin ladyman Heffer mince about Westminster on high heels, haranguing Majesty‘s opposition to do what he say. Country run by arseholes.)
Love from stanislav.
pps Does Lord Guido know who is coke snorting Royal arse bandit, anyway ? Or is too many to count ?
Saturday, October 27, 2007
stanislav a young Polish plumber said...Stanislav mad like fucking hatter.
Stanislav mad like fucking hatter. On question time with Lord Dimbleby three Scotch cunts but not one Polish plumber is. Sweaty fat cunt Falconer, useless stuttering jock retard nancyman Fraser Nelson, pretending that scribble shit in Spectator is proper job, like plumber does, and popular entertainer, man about town and faux socialiste, Sheikh George Moneybags al Galloway, all dress-up like arab playboy. Is need only Lord Neill of Wapping and SuperDad Doctor Gerry McCann and is full fucking house of lying, poisonous Scotch cunt parasite. Maybe sack stooge Dimbleby and have shrieking, hunchback, transexual Kirsty Wark sit in chair and all sit round and slag English. Scotch is like fucking Albanians; idle, thieving , lying, drunken, wife-beating, cave dwellers, eat porridge with fingers, shit in corner, bite nails, pick nose, masturbate like chimp all day long and come in nice country and spread like fucking bubonic plague. Is time for Stanislav invite on question time. Show Scotch cunts what’s fucking what.
Great Polish king, Edward Wenceslas Plantagenet have right idea, show proper spirit, slaughter like fucking vermin, chop in bits and post off all around country,head in London, arse in Bristol, arm in Peterborough and so on; coin immortal phrase of Royal Family: See you Jimmy? You is toast, innit?
Stanislav agree with nearly everything from Mr Atlas Shrugged - Freemasons, common purpose, Illuminati, church, banks. All cunts; political party no difference makes.
Is just that live in Scotland too much and grow weary of racist, wife-beating, cross-dressers pretending to be martyrs, done down for centuries by the English working class, when truth is that Scotch are all fucked up arse by their own rulers. Is only one enemy innit?
Also, Scotch music is shit. Proclaimers is ginger Everly Brothers from Hell. In my country put in hospital for facial reconstruction and voice coaching. Don't know if Mr AS see transatalntic session on al Beeb but is gruesome gang of bearded nonces play same miserable fucking tune over and over for fucking hours, fucking fiddle sound like cat torture; smirking fucking McPonce nod grey head like is violin concerto of great Polish maestro, Beethoven.
Just go and watch this shit, Mr AS, and then come back and say love all Scotchmen. bet you fucking don't.
Sean Connery, he's another one, is better acting in children school nativity play. Silly old cunt live on bonny bonny bank of Lake Geneva and beat wife up like good Scotchman, fly in Scotland now and then with big magic sword, have tantrum say Scotland greatest place ever and fuck off back to Switzerland and live with the arms dealers and bankers. Cunt.
Friday, October 26, 2007
stanislav a young Polish plumber said...horrible cabal of champagne and cocaine socialists.
Can't understand the fuss. This is small beer. How much, for instance are the Blairs, Hoon, Straw and the rest going to surreptitiously pocket from Haliburton Inc, sole owners of the White House and beneficiaries of hundreds of billions of tax dollars-for-corpses?
NewLabour took a million pounds from dwarf hongoblin Ecclescake, gave him the consideration he paid for and then gave him the money back. Milburn, Blunkett, Byers, Cunningham, Prescott, Vaz are all bent thieving bastards who should be in jail. Shirtsleeves Reid is a drunken bully; Cherie Blair the only Deputy Recorder in history to go on a book promotion tour. Byers gave Longbridge to a bunch of thieving pension bandits. Cash for steel jobs, cash for passports and saris, cash for peerages and an attorney general and head of CPS as bent as a nine zloty note, as we say in Cracow.
What has this creep done to find himself on the front page of a minority tabloid like the Guardian? Obviously doesn't attend the same gents toilets as Lord Rusbridger, otherwise this little misuderstanding would have been sorted, like all the other ones finessed by this horrible cabal of champagne and cocaine socialists.
Almost makes me warm to him. Only he's a cunt, anyway, regardless of his sticky fingers. Like the moustache. Quite Freddy Mercury.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
stanislav, a young polish plumber said...leave cyberspace to the righteous.
A shame you didn't give the same anonymous, smug, sanctimonious, learned advice to your parliamentary chums about the poor people of Iraq and Afghanistan. They were in a complex situation, too, but then they're only wogs. Go to bed now;leave cyberspace to the righteous.
1:09 AM, October 25, 2007stanislav, a young polish plumber said...Mr Robinson is medical marvel
Mr Anonymous at 5.10.
Not mean "admittance of guilt....," mean "admission" of guilt. Admittance something granted or paid for, as in pay ten pee admittance to smelly gents public toilet get blowjob from resident LibDem MP, who is probably you.
Mr Robinson of BBC really can suck own cock? Wow. Is any picture? Is not gay interest. Just pleased Mr Robinson is medical marvel and not merely useless smirking greedy cunt. Pleased, too, for Mrs Robinson, make her life a little easier. No, a lot easier. Also ease pressure on Westminster gents' toilet. Leave more space for Lady Geraldine Kaufmann take young man for initiation in Representation of People Act.
Look forward to see Hugh Welshman report this on ten o clock, sorry, ten o cock news. Is bigger story than Gerry and Cilla deny is pair of tossers. (Think maybe Dr Gerry suck own cock, too. And not blame him. And Ruth Man Kelly, he is racing certainty for munch on own knob. Hail Mary.)
See LibDem Jabberwock on Newswank. Bug-eyed maniac look like EAT own cock, with little garlic and rosemary and drizzle olive oil. Bug-eye zombie monster Evan Hunter. Yes I is doctor and I say abortion ok up to two years old; brat not feel much pain, is fact; maybe even up to ten in some case. Fuck it. Go whole on hog. Is mother right to kill child. Period. Ask Cilla. Vote for me, I is barking fucking mad. Woof-woof.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
stanislav, a twittering arts correspondent. said...Is freedom of speech ok for rancid old bachelor boy protect by parliamentary privilege but not for
Isn't it Grand Entrance of Queen of Sheba is hum by backbencher when Lady Geraldine make perfumed approach? Is great music by famous Polish composer Handel and all but is bit strong for old queen like Kaufmann with face like foreskin. Dance of Sugar Plum Fairy
Isn't it true also that Lady Geraldine make more injunction than any other thieving lying cocksucker since lousy Kosovan bum, Robert Maxwell. Is freedom of speech ok for rancid old bachelor boy protect by parliamentary privilege but not for any other bastard ?
Only few people in Scotland, best part of England, believes rumours of long career in Oatenism of mouthy bullyboy MP, member for Tel Aviv, dressed up like dog's fucking dinner.
Have Nagilah, it's grim up North.
12:49 PM, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Stanislav, a young grammarian said...Internet is not medium in same as print.
DENNIS
Is not for humble plumber make reproach to successful writer but Stanislav, too, remember when hopefully is adverb and not fucking punctuation mark, that simplistic is not same as simple and that never should be sentence start with and or but; could give myriad examples, not myriad of, which is shit bollocks talk of inbred fucking morons, just myriad examples of grammatical fuckpit in which language of Shakespeare and King James now fester. Blame BBC, blame most especially HM Government and imbecile teacher but not blame, even obliquely, which mean, more or less, at angle, Lord Guido.
Internet is not medium in same as print. You and I, Dennis, probably not sleep if use comma and not semi colon, maybe, like MadWanker prime minister embark on voyage of endless exculpatory dry masturbation, in order to wipe guilt from mind; develop facial tic and famous DryWank Jawdrop and also insane paper fiddling at despatch box, keep squaring up papers with clunking, nosepick fingers, even though has just squared-up five seconds before; Guido, however has bigger fish to roast. Is big site and constant change; is fast reaction to news and is probably all type in with no proper training in typing and, most important of all, Guido report doings of vastly overpromoted waster bandits, fuckpig incompetent, and complete fucking brain-dead numbskull, like Hoon, Ainsworth, Milliband, Primarolo et al who is ignorant of how to think, never mind fucking speak, never done day's fucking work in fucking life, idle, useless thieving fucking cubtbastard shit-eating child-molesting mother- fuckers; not, we might all agree, a grammarian amongst them and all of probably equal linguistic distinction with the horrible slimy cunts in the press. Little wonder, then, that Lord Guido, sometimes, is mildly improper in the language of his reports to us from the Dark Realm. I don't mind, and, nor, I suspect from your frequecy here, co you, innit?
There is a new vernacular which, whilst improper gramatically, is coruscatingly accurate and even poetic. Stanislav would walk across a forest full of Ernest Gowers' manuals to hear Mr Tambourine Man; as we all know, my Highlands neighbour, Doctor Bob Dylan, wouldn't be nowhere if not for the double negative. IS best wishes from Stanislav, a rebel without a clause.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
stanislav said...not on a first date
Three wise LibDem monkeys: Speak no shit, hear no shit, eat no shit. (well, not on a first date)
Friday, October 19, 2007
stanislav said...NHS is like Auschwitz, innit
I wrote them some letters and they never publish one.Is maybe my poor English.
In one I say Godless heathen bastard Richard Dawkins is worse than fucking mullah. In another that slaphead geek Brian Eno tone fucking deaf. And in third that Hari Johanne unspeakable insufferable cunt belong down mine shaft.
When not publish not send any more. Know when not appreciated.
1:57 AM, October 19, 2007
stanislav said...
Thank you Judith. Is good shit have friends in new country. But not know anybody called Iain and not write to. Is only to Lord Guido Stanislav make umbrages. Is keep in family. Lord Guido employ Stanislav teenage sisters as nanny/concubines in grand house in Ireland so is kind of brother-in-common-law. Who please, is Iain? Is not from immigration, innit?
Anyway, news from Scotland, best part of England. Lady go in extermination hospital with minor problem, come out with MRSA, like everybody else who not killed by staff. Week later take dog in vets for jab and vet say You has been in hospital, innit ? Lady say how you know? Vet say because dog got MRSA.
Not make up, is true. MRSA in Raigmore Hospital so virulent jump fucking species. NHS is like Auschwitz, innit, torture old people with beat and starve and make lie in shit. Invent mad disease and spread in whole animal kingdom. In my country all department of health staff go down mine shaft head first. Especially singing postmistress Alana Johnstone. LibDems should make shut-up while country commence lynching of useless bastard murderer Johnstone. Give to fair trial and hang up from meat hook. Like good old days.
stanislav said...(on Campbell)a quick rub-down with a housebrick and dropping down the nearest mineshaft.
And another thing about that revolting old layabout parasite Campbell. For weeks he's been telling anyone who would listen that he was "up for it"; that at 66 he was "working" eighteen hour days, full of vim and vigour. Look at me, collar undone, running up and down my stairs; see Eslpeth beside me, she looks satisfied, eh? Nauseating,scrawny old fucking creep. What the rancid old cunt conveniently ignores is that millions of other sixty six year olds have spent a life doing proper work to keep him and his co-cunts living in subsidised luxury in Westminster, to allow him haute cuisine and fine wines at their expense, to pay for his three months holiday and his first class travel everywhere, and his foreign junkets and his fucking armour-plated fucking pension, the fucking impudent pussyhwipped, sorry-assed fucking cocksucking, over-dressed fucking pansy fucking thieving pompous fucking two-faced, fucking sanctimonious fucking shit-eating Scottish fucking parasite bastard. And they gave him all this while he was still plying his trade among all the other Scottish lawyer-extortionists, no bigger bunch of shameless, thieving bastards outside of Barlinnie.
Proper people have spent years digging holes in the road, laying bricks in all weathers, lifting and laying the sick and the dying, mining coal, farming and fishing and at sixty six, they have ailments wrought by hard work and poor diet and indifferent fucking cunt doctors. To see this fucking jackanapes scurrying from studio to studio trumpeting his manliness and strength must make them want to puke. What this fucking ghastly old fraud needs is a not a five star Sagaworld retirement spent whingeing about how unfair it all was but a quick rub-down with a housebrick and dropping down the nearest mineshaft. Up against the wall, McMotherfucker.
As for that other Scotch cunt and seagoing abortionist pansy Steel, the vile little bombastic reprobate with the pimp shirts and the greased-down hair was on Scottish Newswank last night pissed out of what he's pleased to call his fucking mind and moaning about how when he and the cunt Ming came into politics nobody had the temerity to be rude to them, how things had deteriorated. Obnoxious, would-be patrician little wanker.
By way of balance, a drunk from the Independent a Mr (and Stanislav not invent this)McSmith read out extracts from GuidoWorld postings of a couple of weeks ago and, struggling, pretended, that these were his own observations. Useless cunt.
7:55 PM, October 17, 2007
-
Anonymous said... "Stanislav": your "Polish" accent is slipping a bit, dear boy. I'm inclined to think Stanislav is either the Hitch or a Guido alter ego.
-
- stanislav for real said...
Mr Anonymous
Fuck off English cunt. Stanislav is real person. Not Guido. Not Hitch. Everybody know Stanislav. Fix-up toilet cheap and help economy. In spare time rant and rave like fucking nutter. Is ancient venerable Polish tradition. Same as getting fucked up arse by Germans. Can't help if english improve, is why come in UK, learn English, be doctor, like Stanislav heroes, Gerry and Cilla McCann, not work, Just go in and out of church for tv cameras; just live off public. Is great. Better than politician scam. Only pension not so good and wonky scouse wife go barking. Woof-woof, woof-woof. I is brilliant mother, woof-woof, woof-woof.- Anonymous said...
STANISLAV Are you really Matt Allwright from the critically acclaimed 'Rogue Traders'on bbc1(soon to be on channel sky2..probably) doing his impression of the eastern european worker? you fraud mongering scamp..
- stanislav said...
No is Polish plumber live in Scotland, best part of England and have some time when not down toilet make effort learn about politics in new country. Also has MRSA from shithole hospital run by Mrs Alana Belsen-Johnstone, minister for extermination and is all fucked-up with bug drugs. Can't therefore be BBC entertainer. All those cunts go private. In Bupa, innit?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
stanislav a young media correspondent said...on Newswank
Barrowboy philosopher, diamond geezer and business-cocksucker-at-large of the Daily Trannygraph, Jeff What a Norf and Souf Randall was on Newswank last night, talking like a cunt. Stanislav not mock language difficulty but this cockney-sparrow arsehole really is a fucking linguistic nazi, scowling and fucking muttering through his teeth, all summinks and dropped aitches as though his fucking crudity somehow validates his fucking stupidity; tossing figures around like a very inferior -and that's going some- Alan cuntface Sugar, Murdoch tart Randall looked like somebody who should've been hanged at Nuremberg. A shit piece -what else- about some minor adjustments to the job-creation scheme for Oxbridge nancyboys and girls that is the BBC. The Today programme only costs five mill and Newsnight only costs eight mill, thundered von Randall. Thirteen million pounds too fucking much, thought Stanislav, choking on his beetroot on toast.
Earlier in the "package" Lord fucking Neill of Wapping was seen scurrying into Schloss Beeb bleating that he might not still have a job. Worthless fucking Scotch scab. Might have to flog some of his millions of Murdoch shares, or his chateau in France if the license payer is relieved of supporting his young woman habit, ghastly old smirking degenerate. Fuck them all off on their arses. Especially drunken money-grubbing Uncle Tom Diane Fucking Abbot and simpering I-agree-with- everyone-else arseburglar Dame Michaela, another one in a Brownian marriage.
Still, though, the BBC does do some useful work. On McNeill's tosser politics programme yesterday was a young woman who was clearly, judging by her complexion, her antsy disorientation, her poorly dyed jet black hair and the truly horrific bags under her eyes that modern, urban phenomenon, a crack whore.
From hanging around doing drugs with undesirable Millipedes she had clearly developed insect-like interview techniques. Leering and ogling and smirking like a fucking nonce, O'Neill asked the unfortunate young woman a question.
Q: Minister, do you know what day is it?
A: Well, with respect, that's two questions and I'll deal with the second one first while I desperately try to conjure an answer to the first real part of your question, it is a fair question which I will return to but first I would say that unlike the other party who ducked this question for seventeen years my party has fully costed this issue and as we speak a select committee of Scotch members of all parties is looking into this very difficult question with a view to taking forward the debate, it is a debate we should have in an adult democracy and my party will provide parliamentary time for that debate to happen as I am sure listeners, and indeed viewers would want, my party will not, like the other party did and we will take no lessons from them, shirk it's responsibility in reaching a broad consensus on behalf of all of the rich people and not just a few of the rich people but these are difficult questions and there is no magic wand, or silver bullet, if there was we would have found it and waved it, or fired it. We will learn lessons and move forward and draw lines under this question and indeed in the sand. We also, of course invite the general public to comment on our websites, although we cannot of course guarantee that any such comments will be published or indeed read, We live in a twenty-four-seven feral media and busy politicians and their aides have much to do in preparing to be on Richard and Judy and indeed your own programme, Lord Dimbleby.
To turn to the first part of the question, what day is it, well I am sure that you would not expect me, as a minister, to comment on individual days, especially so given the security implications and I would just take this opportunity of thanking our security service for the magnificent professionalism with which they approach the task of herding vulnerable old people into hospitals and killing them. My right honourable colleague, Mrs Alana Belsen-Johnstone, the singing postmistress, has been fulsome in her praise and gratitude for these unsung heroes but I would add my voice to hers. But I digress, to return to the question, what day is it.. Well, it is a difficult question. With no easy answers. There are conflicting sets of evidence and a minister, as I am sure you understand, must balance often diametrically opposed wotsits. The very best answer I can give you to that question at this moment in time, and it is a very important question and viewers are right to ask it, is that clearly, on balance, in a very real sense, although the Devil as ever is in the detail, the bottom line is that I DON'T KNOW WHAT FUCKING DAY IT IS.
Q: Thank you minister. Do you by any chance know who that ginger cunt sitting next to you is?
A: Only one answer to that, Jonathan. That's that ginger cunt Charlie the happily married Dipso. He goes months without knowing what day it is. don't you , dearie.
The BBC has asked Stanislav to make clear that Health Minister, Ms Flint was on the telly and not at PMQs as part of her rehabilitation.
It goes without saying, really, that all Scotchmen are arsebandits but isn't former jock wunderkind Charlie the Dipso also in a Brown marriage. He, too, kinda got himself hitched quite late and only when he thought his star was rising and people might wonder about him otherwise. He's been pissed on and off ever since. Like the walking saliva barrage, Baron Hatterjee, Kennedy seems inordinately fond of his old mother, spinning in her Highland Croft. And he is ginger.
stanislav said...Jeremy Thorpe wore a hat.
Happily settled in a Brownian marriage, arseburglar, old Etonian and dog-murdering Liberal leader Jeremy Thorpe wore a hat. And three-piece suits with velvet collars and fob watches. In his pimp clothes and brothel creepers Thorpe was a sartorial role model for nautical abortionist Lord Boy Steel. Steel, of course, controversially for a Liberal leader, only fucked his secretary and not young men he found in public toilet. As far as we know.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
stanislav said...What is this Jeffrey Archer shit all over my computer screen.
- stanislav said...
What is this Jeffrey Archer shit all over my computer screen.. If I want criminals I watch Police Five with Shaw Taylor. Or that Police Action Camera Mortuary programme with Moira Stewart. His fucking lying bullying cunt of a wife isn't coming on, too, is she ? Wotsername, Mary, Doctor Mary, I don't do ultimata, wasn't it? Some frosty knickers shit like that as she was lying her fucking teeth out about the useless delusional hairy-backed fucking thieving ponce. Fuck me, Mr and Mrs Archer of Weston Super Mare. Judge said Lady Archer fragrant pussy was so sweet he could smell it wafting across the Inns of Court like rose fucking blossom but Monica Coughlin, prostitute, who Jeff fucked for money, was a cheesy, smelly old slag, and nobody could believe her. Turned out she was telling the truth. Fucking cunt Judge probably on a backhander down the Lodge. Archers lied to the nation and beat the fucking servants. What a revolting pair. They make Gerry and Cilla McCann look like Missionaries for fucking Truth. They should be in the LibDems, those two cunts. If I see them here again I will have to go back to reading the Daily Trannygraph with Mrs Heffer and all the other freaks.
Who is this cunt Ian Dale ?- Tuscan Tony said...
Stan, you missed out that Ms Coughlin was killed a few years ago by being stuck by a speeding Jag-uar - anyone check out who owned that ve-hi-cle?
- stanislav, not a candidate at this stage said...
Tuscan Tony
Thanks Tony. Did know. Only missed out because I didn't want people thinking I was a fucking Polish know-it-all who should lead LibDems. As is being suggested. Not so bad only suggested deputy is mad Ulster Meteor Man Lembit Opek. Lenbit Opek ? Sound like courtier from Gulliver's Lilliput.
The Archer thing is just another one, innit? The press moves on and the cunts rehabilitate themselves with the help of friends in high places. The victims lie crushed in the gutter.
Still, look on the bright side; thieving cunt and monsterbully Conrad Black might get a a good few years next month. Not that it'll shame all the tosspots in the press who queued up to suck his dick. Hastings, Lawson, Heffer et al. Horrible shower of bastards. Thank God for Modest Tony Benn inventing the internet when he was postmaster general; that's what I say. His son's Minister for Plagues y'know. Such a good boy, Hilary.
stanislav said...MING FUCKED UP ARSE BY WHOLE PARTY.
- stanislav said...
MING FUCKED UP ARSE BY WHOLE PARTY.
So said Mungo Lickspittle, editor of Scotch Times on Newswank Scotland last night.
NO. MING FUCKED UP ARSE BY WHOLE PRESS.
Said large frontbench LD haggis spokesperson, Alistair Carbuncle.
NO. MING FUCK SELF UP OWN ARSE.
Said Mrs Simone Hughes, toasting the downfall with a chilled glass of urine, and it is a measure of the man that he wouldn't ask anyone else to do what he wouldn't do himself, simpered Mrs Hughes not terribly convincingly. If there was arse-fucking to be done, Ming would always sprint to the front of the queue, its the kind of man he was, even though arse-fucking was my front bench brief. The party and the nation owe him a debt of gratitude.
On Newswank Scotland Mr Carbuncle praised Lord Ming's decision to deploy HM Inland Revenue against global warming. When Ming, talking out of his noble arse, made that speech, all across China billions of polluting Chinks stopped dead in their tracks, Fuck this, ah so, they said, is back to Stone age for Chinee fellow, honourable little Scotch man far away say that if Chinee fellow make heat he is taxed to fuck, is back to caves for us, chop-chop. We is all good Wiberal Democwat, wear sandal like proper numptie. All slope-eye chinky people shivering in cave and on steppes owe Lord Ming great debt of gratitide.
And that was a measure of the man said Mr Carbuncle, making a quick snack of a loaf of white bread soaked in lard, he was a true global elder statesman. When Ming spoke empires trembled. And all you press people could do was make him look like a silly old cunt, floundering about like a dying cod on the deck of a trawler. The whole nation and not just the arse party owe Lord Ming a great debt of gratitude. Mr Carbuncle, MP for the Orkney Islands said that it was very flattering to be considered even an outsider for the leadership of this great arse-fucking, scatological movement of ours but tasting all the haggises kept him quite busy. And flying up an down from Orkney every week on behalf of his three hundred-strong electorate. No, said Mr Carmichael, wiping the lard from his chins, I'll no' be putting my arse forward for a good fucking, the noo. Jo Grimond was my hero. You never heard of him paying people to shit on him. If he did he kept it really quiet, not like that slag Oaten. That BBC lard was delicious, any chance of another pound or two ?
ME NEXT ON MING'S ARSE, THREATENS EMBARRASSED LADY MING.
Elsewhere Lady Hyacinth Ming confessed that while she was obviously disappointed not to be moving into Number Ten as her second husband had promised, she would try not to hold it against him that they were a national laughing stock. Again. But even so if anybody else wanted to fuck him up the arse they'd have to form an orderly queue behind her.
PARTY FUCKED DIPSO KENNEDY UP ARSE. TOO. ARSE-FUCKING MUST STOP, SAYS ABORTIONIST IN FLASHY SHIRT
Speaking on Radio Scotland, Lord Sir David Steele of the Jermyn Street shirtlifters, sorry makers, Federation and useless oily little bastard said that all this arse-fucking had to stop. When Highlander Kennedy was found to be pissed out of his skull all the time the proper thing would have been to not publicly fuck him up the arse but to send him to the Priory for three months with Michael Barrymore and Pete Docherty and let Lord Ming run the show until Charlie had sobered-up. There was absolutely no need to fuck him up the arse. Wouldn't have happened in my day. (He really did say all this.) No, in my day, if there were troublemakers we'd just hire a hit squad to go and kill their dogs. We simply have to stop fucking our leaders up the arse. That used to be David Owen's job. Any body need a quick abortion ? I can do you one round the back of the studio.
Lord Ming himself was said to be in his Edinburgh mansion, sitting on a very big pile of soft cushions on a chair pushed hard against the wall.- Anonymous said...
Etymology: Middle English faint, feint, from Anglo-French, from past participle of feindre, faindre to feign, lose heart — more at feign.
More usually written 'faint'. Suspect Guido was unsure of spelling, looked it up and plumped for the less usual 'feint'. The perils of the googlectual, perhaps?-
The Hitch said... Dennis
I have noticed that you have a lovely complexion
Could you let me know what skin care range you use?
Hitch- Anonymous said...
Who wielded the dagger ??
Norman Baker...fully paid up member of the Kennedy 'assassination squad'.- 45govt said...
What's the matter with all you intelligent posters. e.g pedant and scary biscuits? Guido meant what he wrote - FEINT, which derives from the word feign. Simmple really, and the pun was on the old saying of damn with faint praise, but using FEINT has extra connotations - what the fuck, am I wasting my breath here?
Stanislav could explain it far better, as I have to wipe my tea off the monitor after his gem above. SIR Stanislav!- stanislav, a young grammarian said...
A good recovery Lord Guido, but it was only a typo and you should have owned-up. We would all still respect you in the morning. Anyway that first bloke was a cunt for drawing attention to it. Stanislav know straight-up what Lord Guido mean. And is fucking Pole. Mean damning with faint praise. Only maybe finger is shake from cocaine and hit mistaken key. Maybe head fucked up with red wine and mix words, easy done. Happen all time. Worms come out all wrong. No need for big elaborate cut-and-stick rebuttal from dictionary to show CAN be damning with feint praise. Is like vanity number plate. If squint can read "I AM CUNT." But is not really correct spelling of I AM CUNT is probably LAM 644T and all twist up with screws and shit. Police should arrest, give good hiding and confiscate car; what else we pay them for ? Tell driver Yes, You IS Cunt and throw down nearest mineshaft.
Is one thing Mrs Alana Johnston make excuse himself for holocaustal slaughter of patients in shithole hospital run by greedy imbecile career fuckwits (like whole fucking country). Another altogether for Lord Guido twist and squirm like fucking politician and make cover-up, think nobody notice. Well Stanislav notice but not mention until now. Many people think Stanislav stupid fucking Pole, eat beetroot, drink vodka and cry about war, think Stanislav know fuck nothing. But is wrong, Stanislav know fuck all.
Anyway better watch out or get Lord Cover-Up Stevens of Northern Ireland and the Met uncover real facts of FeintGate. On second thoughts, no point; right Worshipful brother Stevens not recognise fact if bite on fucking nose. Stevens and fact is not acquainted. Not even feintly.
on second thoughts no point in that- Guido Fawkes Esq. said...
Stanislav,
You read Guido like a book. By the way, any chance you have a buxom sister?
We need a nanny. Cash of course. Own room, (double bed)...- stanislav central european employment agebcy said...
Mountjoy.
Think maybe you come in wrong place. All here is barking mad. Not give fuck about ageism shit. Is maybe you think here is Guardian. Is not. Is dark realm of Lord Guido, iconoclast and employer of entire Stanislav family. Anyway, like friend Dennis the Freak would say: Not start sentence with "and." Is con-fucking-junction.- Dennis said...
Hitch: my complexion is a matter of luck. It's in the genes. We have always been a well-favoured bunch. But I do find the Helena Rubinstein blusher very agreeable. A bit old fashioned, but I can't help them. A quick spray of Paco Raban on the old hump also helps when I'm out on the pull. Used to be Esmeralda's favourite. Ah, those were the days!
Stanislav, you are cordially invited for cocktails. Make much laugh but cause Dennis keyboard covered much spittle & postprandial coffee.- The Hitch said...
Stanislav
Any chance of you nipping around and fixing The Hitch's plumbing?
The central heatings on the blink and after a sufeit of port and curry last night I have a severe blockage in my S bend.
I have had my hand up there but cant quite get a grip on the little racsal , it probably needs some kind of special tool.
This isnt a homosexual come on , rather a cry for help from a man badly let down by British tradesmen.
Hitch- stanislav, a former young plumber said...
Dear Friend Mr Hitch. Once Mr Hitch and Mr Mad As Fish and Mr 45 was Stanislav valued friends in new country and Stanislav fix toilets for nothing but Stanislav now too fucking busy and important for plumb. Make preparation for sisters come work as nanny/concubine in grand house of Lord Guido. Is modern European. Is adult about work in sex industry. Guido is great man, no? Make future rosy for Stanislav sisters. Instead of drive oxen in overalls, like Scotch woman, and dig beetroot back home in fields of Cracow, sisters dress in thigh boots, scrub floors for minimum wage and sleep in cellar of Guido house. Make sex for Guido when Mrs Guido go out make film with big Jamaican boyfriends. Guido give valuable on-job training and employ sisters as escort in party conference only not LibDem as prefer boys. Guido let sisters keep some of money, but not enough to make spoiled. Or afford own drugs. Oh, England truly land of aspiration and vision. One day Stanislav be proud uncle Stan to many little Guido bastard. Be proper English gent like Gordon Brown, voices in head and everything.
stanislav, a social historian said...Gauguin make coin of phrase which is always in Stanislav mind when do Cunt of Day musings.
Gosh. A jumped-up Edinburgh lawyer in a pinstripe suit and lurid necktie bites the dust. That must leave only a hundred or so of the fuckers shitting in our faces from Westminster. And another hundred in Holyrood.
The only good things you could say about this wretch were that he didn't shoot dogs, bugger rentboys, stand trial for murder, give blowjobs to that horrible mad cunt David Owen, fuck the secretary or fall down drunk and pretend to be married.
If anyone's interested he's pronounced Ming and not Minz because in old Scots there was a letter that looked like a Z but was actually a "gh" sound - thus Mingh-ies. Fucking wonderful, Scotch politicians; anyone with half a brain would have quietly changed the z to a g and got on with things. Or thinzs. Wanker.
What I wanna know is how you get to be an elder statesman without ever having held any office of state ? Is it running in the Olympics makes you an elder statesman ? And is he now a former elder statesman or an elder, elder statesman? These people are all, without exception, cunts. Especially the bisexual one, Simone. I mean, gay is one thing. But bisexuality is such a fucking impertinence; dunno which way to turn and want it all ways; all things to all men, or women. That Hughes; quick rub-down with a housebrick and drop down a mineshaft.
Still, now Minz will be able to get to bed early with the fetching Lady Elspeth and maybe explore her Minz, knocking off a round or two, as befits one of his much vaunted energy and vigour, instead of being insulted seven ways from Christmas by hunchback transexual Kirrrrsty Wark on Newswank.
That cunt Lord Sir David Steel. Lectures on cruise ships for a living. Obviously no directorships available in the abortion industry. Can just see the little, smarmy, over-dressed Scots git all done up in his contrasting collars, lecturing a load of rich old deadbeats: Go back tae yer staterooms and prepare for mal-de-mer. ho ho ho. I used to be on Spitting Image, me.
Stanislav, I have told you before, the term hunchback is offensive to the dorsally atypical.
Otherwise, I daresay I speak for many when I say your eulogy, encomium even, is deeply moviz.
Stanislav visit Amsterdam and see van Gogh paintings. Horrible. Tiny little mad things, all daub and splash. Fucking rubbish. Stanislav dog Rocky W make better art. See Rembrandts, too. And Vermeer. Is bloody good at make paint look like real. Is representational, innit? Old Masters. Not fucking impression of shit, like van One-Ear. Mad fucking bastard. Never make fucking farthing, ponce on brother, treat brother like one-man department of work and fucking pensions, draw benefits, pensions and then cut own fucking ear off and want disability allowance. Is taking piss, right ?
But anyway, van Gogh have frog friend name Gauguin. Gauguin smart. Not sit around in field paint grass, or sit in dingy room, paint broken-down old chair. No, Gauguin fuck off in South Seas paint naked women like proper artist, not like nutter who chop off own fucking ear and sing Starry Starry Night and live in lunatic asylum. Gauguin paint so many naked women that people think maybe he is Chris Langhamite and say many bad thing about him, although still love his paintings of Polynesian totty.
Gauguin make coin of phrase which is always in Stanislav mind when do Cunt of Day musings.
Maybe tonight, as they drop dentures in glass and try to make sleep despite howling silently with you're-too-fucking-old and too-fucking-boring embarrassment, Lord and Lady Ming will be saying, like Gauguin, life being what it is, one dreams of vengeance.
And serve them fucking right.
Monday, October 15, 2007
stanislav said...Few in Scotland believe the rumours about King Alec.
All this stuff above. Is great see Scotch culture all over Lord Guido. Is like Glasgow lullaby. This -shut up fucking cunt poxed-up arse bandit etc- is like how Scottish parents speak to infants. Mind you, inbreds IS difficult to control, especially when fed diet of fried Mars Bar and Irn bru and lots of beating and buggery. No wonder Scotch make good politician like brawling dwarf, Shirtsleeves Reid and Alistair, Darling and Douglas Fuck-me-gently Alexander and famous Great White Snot Eating Masturbator with Voices In Head. And mad Visions.
No wonder Scotland best part of England. Have free everything and still people is barking mad. Wife-beating, child-molesting, obese, cross-dressing, pisshead, melancholy fuckwits. Elect man in skirt be first minister. Bit like England.
Few in Scotland believe the rumours about King Alec.
stanislav said...Is great see Scotch culture all over Lord Guido.
All this stuff above. Is great see Scotch culture all over Lord Guido. Is like Glasgow lullaby. This -shut up fucking cunt poxed-up arse bandit etc- is like how Scottish parents speak to infants. Mind you, inbreds IS difficult to control, especially when fed diet of fried Mars Bar and Irn bru and lots of beating and buggery. No wonder Scotch make good politician like brawling dwarf, Shirtsleeves Reid and Alistair, Darling and Douglas Fuck-me-gently Alexander and famous Great White Snot Eating Masturbator with Voices In Head. And mad Visions.
No wonder Scotland best part of England. Have free everything and still people is barking mad. Wife-beating, child-molesting, obese, cross-dressing, pisshead, melancholy fuckwits. Elect man in skirt be first minister. Bit like England.
Few in Scotland believe the rumours about King Alec.
stanislav said...He has a look of Brown about him, the pallor of the copraphiliac.
Wasn't it Simone who claimed that it was ok for him to have gay-bashed Peter Tatchell in order to get himself elected because he, Hughes, wasn't gay, but bisexual? Only a fucking lawyer.
What a vile, obnoxious, creepy, fucking degenerate. He has a look of Brown about him, the pallor of the copraphiliac. Seems to be a fucking epidemic of it. Best send for Benn, Minister for Plagues. Or his dad, or his fucking daughter or niece or whoever the fuck the horrid smirking little creep belongs to. Built the Concorde with his own hands, Tony. Ministers were like that back then. Swam the North Sea prospecting for Oil. Introduced the Internet as Postmaster General. Not like now when New Labour ministers are all cunts. Apart from Hilary, who's a good boy really. What I like best of all is to have m'pipe and a nice cup of tea and listen to tapes of my own voice from when I was the cleverest man in the country. Hereditary privilege ? No. An affront to democracy,as I used to say to Ghandi. My position is clear on that. There should be no entitlement to special treatment on grounds of family. Well, only for certain families.
stanislav said...He has a look of Brown about him, the pallor of the copraphiliac.
Wasn't it Simone who claimed that it was ok for him to have gay-bashed Peter Tatchell in order to get himself elected because he, Hughes, wasn't gay, but bisexual? Only a fucking lawyer.
What a vile, obnoxious, creepy, fucking degenerate. He has a look of Brown about him, the pallor of the copraphiliac. Seems to be a fucking epidemic of it. Best send for Benn, Minister for Plagues. Or his dad, or his fucking daughter or niece or whoever the fuck the horrid smirking little creep belongs to. Built the Concorde with his own hands, Tony. Ministers were like that back then. Swam the North Sea prospecting for Oil. Introduced the Internet as Postmaster General. Not like now when New Labour ministers are all cunts. Apart from Hilary, who's a good boy really. What I like best of all is to have m'pipe and a nice cup of tea and listen to tapes of my own voice from when I was the cleverest man in the country. Hereditary privilege ? No. An affront to democracy,as I used to say to Ghandi. My position is clear on that. There should be no entitlement to special treatment on grounds of family. Well, only for certain families.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Stanislav, a young Polish Quaker said...Stanislav nice man, really. Unlike Galloway, who is utter cunt.
Hey, hey, hey Mr Gordon, Stanislav not make torture. Is job of CIA, US Army and certain section of Queens Own NancyBoy Dragoons. Stanislav make lampoon and profanity and stream of consciousness obscenity. Stanislav is sensitive, like poet, chronicler of dark worlds, wilderness of mirrors, struggle make sense of dichotomy in so-called public servants is all thieving, lying, war-mongering fucking degenerate traitors who need imprisonment - apart from Brother Ainsworth who need quick rub down with housebrick and throw down coalmine,alive, stupid useless bastard. Stanislav articulate resentment and righteous indignation of ordinary chap, fed-up with have shit in face from politician and journalist. But not make mediaeval fun on people genitals and fingernails and such. Not pour hot lead in peoples arse. Stanislav good plumber but hot lead enema best left to expert. Maybe Jack Straw.
Stanislav nice man, really. Unlike Galloway, who is utter cunt.
ps 45 govt friend. Is good idea kill three turds with one stone. Taffy Hain is coalmine candidate for sure. And popular entertainer Mr Mark Steele. Not know is Galloway bumboy. Is photo ? Is Billy fucking Bragg in same gang ? Expect so. Cunt.
not in stanislav name said...Famous Polish poet Jan Donneski make poem to say no man island is
10:36 AM, October 12, 2007 Anonymouse said: "Seeing another human being reduced to a wreck is not funny."
Funnier though than having one of Mr Hoon's smart bombs come through the roof and eviscerate your children for Democracy, eh? This is no Shakespeare tragedy, just the expensive whores playing up in the national knocking shop; to try to make it tragedy is to puff up their already intolerable egos.
Running around on fire after a visit from Uncle Sam's momma's boy psychokiller napalm technicians, that's really not funny. Getting killed by lazy dirtybastard doctors in UK hospitals that's not funny. Oh, and coming home dead from Eye-rack with other peoples arms and legs sewn onto your body so badly that the undertaker says what the fuck's going on here ? That's not exactly hilarious, next of kin not rolling in the fucking aisles, I'll bet.
Brown's personal sorrows are of his own and his mad father's making and are minuscule compared with those he has wrought on others. He deserves no sympathy.
Famous Polish poet Jan Donneski make poem to say no man island is, divorce from main .....send not ask for whom bell toll, certainly not toll for deranged,warmongering, snot-eating Son of Fucking Manse.
No bells, no eulogy. Make stake in heart.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Stanislav said...Interviewed on Radio Orkney this morning, the nation's favourite singing postman, Alana Johnson
Interviewed on Radio Orkney this morning, the nation's favourite singing postman, Alana Johnson, said he'd be fucked if he'd carry the can for a load of lazy, overpaid consultants and slatternly nurses having killed hundreds of their patients. If these lazy bastards are too busy counting their private practice money to wash their hands, what's that got to do with me ? Nurses? Everybody knows what they're like; rather stand around gossiping about tv and stealing drugs for their boyfriends than do any proper nursing. No wonder people are dropping like fucking flies. Only last week I had a young Polish migrant -very welcome for the modern, changing, visionary, skills-based economy, I must say, and he was white - and he said to me, Mr Alana, he said, Stanislav go in Leicester Hospital get fixed up little problem, see dirty nurse, hundreds of them, not wash hands between blood test, not change manky dressing, leave old people lie in shit. Not give drugs, not feed, not wash, not do fuck all. Stanislav come running out when mad drunken doctor Brown cut off toe by mistake and say Stanislav fault. Stone fucking crows Mr Alana, cor blimey. Quite healthy when go in infirmary but get all fucked-up with MRSA and wrong surgery; is like fucking Buchenwald in Leicester hospital, have highest rate for patient neglect since Nuremberg. Is like fucking holocaust. What you is gonna do, Mr Alana. Well, as you might expect, I told him straight off that this was the best health service in the world and if he didn't like it he could fuck off back to Poland, he was lucky we let his sort in to England in the first place; I had to close the surgery now and go on Desert Island Discs, so he could fuck off and take his beetroot with him. And next time if he wanted me to do something, bring a proper bribe. Its that fucking Patsy Hewitt, fucking dumb cow, what does she know about running a health service ? It's all her fault. Shouldn't put women in mens jobs. That Oona King, now, not bad for a darkie, she could explore my ethnicity issues alright.
Joining the interview from the radio car, television's popular ginger celebrity doctor, Dr Phil Hammond, a ginger doctor, said it was all their own fault. If these people are determined to get ill and go and bother the doctors and nurses well, what do they expect? And anyway, it's all very much exaggerated, only a few tens of thousands of patients are killed by their doctors and probably only the same number maimed and crippled. I mean, its much more if you count those killed by the lazy GPs over and mis-prescribing, neglecting and in some cases, just killing patients because they feel like it. I mean, the vast majority of people killed are killed by their doctors, and who could ask for better than that?
Although speaking for myself I always make a point of getting someone to wash my hands for me before I appear on TV, generally the make-up girl will do it, we simply can't expect busy professionals earning hundreds of thousand of pounds a year to be bothered with this sort of hand-washing nonsense. I mean they have lives, mistresses, holiday homes, investments just like the rest of us. We mustn't expect too much from them. The sign of a true professional is that he (or occasionally she) is above matters like mere hygiene. Everyone has to die, don't they, so what's all the fuss about ? Heard the one about the old lady with dysentery ?
Dr Phil Hammond, a ginger doctor, is appearing on any third-rate quiz show that'll give him a few quid. The singing postman is in pantomime every week in the Cabinet Room, Downing Street. And arrogant, overpaid, incompetent, unaccountable, self-policing, money-grubbing, bullyboy doctors, reinforced and sheltered by S-class-driving accountants, management consultants and other thieves, are killing patients every day in a hospital near you.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Stanislav said...Oh, brown sugar, how come you taste so good, get down, get down, get down brown sugar
bj said oona and jack do jiggy-jig.
Yes, and she lived to tell the tale. Imagine Jumping Jack Straw miming to Oh, brown sugar, how come you taste so good, get down, get down, get down brown sugar, just like a black girl should. The mind fucking boggles.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Stanislav frae Free Scotland, the noo said...
Its because he's Scottish. That he's a cunt, that is. Wasn't it an old fucking Etonian who first framed the West Lothian question? Perhaps the massed alumni on the Tory benches will revive it; do some proper politics, instead of just outfairying Gordon and Dougie and co..
ps you mean uninterested oops; pull yourself together man
- The Hitch said...
Courageous decisions from Brown
are as rare as rocking horse shit*
*Gratuitous rocking horse joke
STANISLAV!
Do you have to swear so much?
Some of us are of a sensitive disposition.- 45govt said...
Yes, Stanislav, calling every scottish cunt a cunt is over cunting the asshole.
- stanislav, rebuked said...
Dear Mr HITCH and Mr 45 Govt
I am very sorry. Come in new country and, like BlindBoy Blunkett make instruct, try to be like natives; salute flag, sing Land of Hope and Glory and vote Labour. Stanislave live in Scotland, best part of England, and everyone speak filth, large time. Will speak clean from now forth.
See nazi Straw on Easy Talk programme with old nonce Lord Neill of Wapping. Say single-handed defeat deference back in sixties, make new world for master and man; every child have equal opprotunity deal drugs to prostitute journalist women, then go up Oxford and act cunt for rest of life. Apart from scum underclass children on sink estate. Is like great scot, Shakespeare, no ? Oh brave new world what have such cunts in. Anyway Straw very proud no-one say Sir any more, except to him.
Stanislav think maybe hashish, birth pill, underground press, LSD, Bob Dylan and Holy Beatles make some difference to old order of deference. Even mad old bat Professor Greer. But no. Is Straw change things round quick like shit from shovel. Straw say never any drug when study at Leeds Shithole University so right man, innit, to claim credit for counter-culture and sexual revolutioon and shit like that. Lord Neill ask if Straw wear black stockings and shiny shoes as Lord Chancellor, as if something new.
Anyway, time now go look in garden, like idiot, for missing girl but Stanislav make wager with Guido-friends (and use word under much advice, Mr Greek arse-bandit Kronos) Jack Straw if ever get opportunity -say false flag turrist action - bring back death penalty; only reluctantly, only to do his duty to ptotect great british people from harm, only for one parliament (like PTA) only for certain turrist offences, only subject to strict review by privy fucking councillors and final overview by cunt Lord Hutton and only with Mr Murdoch's- his fucking sons' and heirs' in perpetuity - rapturous approval. And also only for people who cticise him. There. No swearing. God bless Mrs Oona King and that dead one, Fiona Wotsit.
ps can Lord Guido merge Straw's grim, murderous face into that revolting graphic ?
Not find girl again. Begin to think not here. Professor Quatermass not really professor, well, maybe of advanced cheese studies or history of mobile telephone ring tones at University of Ashby de la Zouch, but not of politics; no way, Jose, as they make say in Portugese police.
"Take country from this moment to next....?" Is shit, right, bollocks. Country and all things else take self from one moment etc. Happen anyway. Is no "moment." Show Stanislav where is "moment." Tell Stanislav when is next "moment." Professor Q talk like any number of cunts on Today programme. At this moment in time. Devil, as ever, is in details. In very real sense. Is bottom line. At end of day.
"Desperate to see people works in offices..." God fucking help us all. Is height of ambition, eh? Everybody work in fucking office, be optimistic, be faintly artistic, listen to PotatoMan Mark Lawson blether and whine about Japanese cinema, like expert; watch Paul Morley on hundred best whatever programmes. Every fucking day. Is little known connection between punk rock and Medici Rennaisance. Oh yes. Make BBC cheque to Paul Morley RentAGob ltd. Fuck me. Not ARTS.
Great Polish painter Rembrandt is art. But Balinese people have great saying, is "We Have No Art. We Do Everything As Well As We Can."
Professor, run away from office and moments and Mark Lawson and metropolitan conservatism; make escape from Arts phonies like skrikig, speech-impaired, hunchback, transexual Kirrrsty Wark; forget optimism, just forget it. Come in Scotland and be miserable. Sit in cave, eat porridge with fingers, drink whisky, wear skirt, beat wife, read Scotsman, memorise melancholy doggerel of shit writer Burns and hate everything. Scotland is land of fathomless, irremediable, eternal grievance. Come in Scotland and dream of Vengeance
Monday, October 8, 2007
stanislav said...(on smirking Robinson)
Seeing as how I pay smirking Robinson’ s salary, expenses and pension I would be grateful if he, instead of panting and flirting, asked the prime minister:
Are you now or have you ever whilst in office, suffered any psychological or emotional disorder which has resulted in you taking hugely important decisions whilst under the influence of prescribed drugs ?
Why does the British government interfere in the jurisdiction of another European criminal justice system and why are foreign office resources spent so lavishly on two people suspected of grave offences and who are known to your own close family ?
Are you now or have you ever been a Freemason ?
When your dead father speaks in your head, does he mention the concept of shame, or is the word not in the Presbyterian vocabulary ?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Stanislav, an anxious young Pole said...Worshipful Master Dame Gordon Brown will be joining them, playing the two Ugly Sisters.
Give interview to BBC Richard and Judy man, Andy Marr, say reputation abducted. Just go out for conference with good friends, say Gordon (all respectable politicians, never tell lie, always check on reputation every five minutes; well, not really, not check too hard, not actually look, see if still there, just kind of talk about go see if reputation there, maybe walk past building.) Finish-up polite respectable conference, everybody buy moral compass on door, Gordon smirk like gay crocodile, come back in house nine o'clock, ten o' clock, sometime, windows been jemmied, or maybe not, and, fuck me, reputation nowhere to be seen, nappy been moved, up on sideboard, sure sign reputation carted off in night, maybe drugged. Other people reputation still there, abductor not touch, Gordon reputation targeted, probably by gang of sophisticated reputation snatchers, taken maybe by people like torture reputation, not bear thinking; look all over, high-up, low down. Best think set-up million pound PR operation, so nothing else be abducted -like career as prime minister. Re-invent self as international reputation welfare expert. Phone fellow freemason, Pope Wotsit, the old Nazi and Protector General of the kiddy-fiddlers , and say look, Pope, you and me, right, we is in this together, we is all in the reputation game; you, me the BMA. I mean, d'you know that people say Gordon destroy own reputation? Not abducted at all. Is ludicrous, no? Gordon love reputation, maybe leave alone, locked in room, but is ok, everybody do same; all over country people out at lodge meetings, dinner parties, make important rendezvous in public toilet; can't be with reputation forever, is not like is child or anything.
Ask all fellow freemason click up at www.findgordorep.com and send money to Gordon brother preferably in cash so make easy book-keeping and not detract from leave no stone unturned etc etc etc.
Aides to Gerry and Cilla McCann revealed today that in the search for THEIR abducted reputations they will be appearing in pantomime at Blackpool, either in A Doctor's Dilemma, Puss in the Boot or Babes in Sedation; should he be suddenly available through unemployment, Worshipful Master Dame Gordon Brown will be joining them, playing the two Ugly Sisters.
Stanislav, an anxious young Pole said...Is copraphilia, yes ? Innit?
Isn't BOTTLE rhyming slang - bottle and glass = ass (or arse, those London types do strangle the language) and doesn't it actually refer to an overwhelming terror accompanied by a loosening of the sphincter and a deluge of hot, wet, faeces cascading down the inside ot the trousers ? It does seem most improper for the gentlemen and slags of the media to be throwing this word around with such gay abandon. For Mr Brown to have "bottled it" is just another way of saying that the prime minister of the UK, considering holding a general election, instead, shit himself. Oh, yes, now I understand, in manurum veritas, as we say in Cracow.
Is copraphilia, yes ? Innit?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
stanislav, a New Scot said...The Iraq thing plays larger here than in England for lots of reasons:
Not everybody in Scotland hates him but the ones who do are very vocal. The harridan, Sister Wendy Alexander, enraged even Unionists with her crass apology to UK Lab plc for the Scottish people not voting as they were told by their traditional thuggish masters.
The Iraq thing plays larger here than in England for lots of reasons: it is a wee country and the pacifist movement is highly visible not only over Iraq but over Faslane and Trident and even non-pacifists are raging about the amalgamation, by the dwarf brawler Reid, of the Scottish regiments, military stuff is big in Scotland; there have been high-profile individual campaigns by those bereaved and for nationalists the whole idea of war being a matter reserved to Westminster is abhorrent; the CIA rendition flights from Prestwick Airport have also enraged people of all persuasions; The Great Masturbator's bungled spinning foray into Iraq is widely despised, therefore, more so than in England, the Scots take things very personally and, as we know, carry grudges for centuries.It was bad enough and then someone pushed that moron Ainsworth into the spotlight. The Iraq spin is just about the stupidest thing Brown could have done.
Minority King Alec Salmond, who is currently well regarded by press and people is shrewd enough to damage Brown, right in his own constituency -make it a personal issue between Salmond's candidate and the sitting prime minister; the Scots'd love it and remember, when last Brown was here campaigning for the neighbouring seat, so unpopular was he that a sound Labour majority fell to the Mould-Breakers.
Should he lose his own seat then he would be spending a lot of time in the gaybars of New England, or else lying down in a quiet place with no sharp surfaces. It is almost poignant to consider that Tony and Sharon will probably, after all, have the last laugh. What a crew of grotesques.
ps can we leave Lady Michael White for a while, all this talk of her makes a weak man queasy. When I was a boy the Guardian was such a fine independent newspaper; now it is home to the vilest, most rancid cunts in the media. (Apart from Mr McGuire, who festers in a CuntLeague all of his own at the Mirror.)
stanislav, a young rebel said...It's as though The Underclass are an ejaculation from the mighty cock of Satan himself,
SpinTinTin
Isn't that "British politics IS rotten to the core ?"
Right, though, whichever. More of the Enemy Within Shit. Those Horrible Disruptive Poor Bastards. As though what these overpaid, lazy cunt, politicians and journalists (is there any difference between the pissed-up degenerate illiterate, cottaging, cliche spouting tossers ?) call The Underclass just got themselves born so's to fuck up the beautiful, obedient consumer lives of Mr And Mrs StupidCunt living in their fucking ghastly little faux Georgian monstrosities and pushing their vile fucking stupid brats to greater excesses of consumerism, stupidity and illiteracy.
It's as though The Underclass are an ejaculation from the mighty cock of Satan himself, sprayed into the face of decent hard-working families, with Vahl-ewes, and not the result of decades of politicians' brutish neglect and indifference. The Devil's MoneyShot, the poor. Oh, simpers Dave, if only we could exclude them. They are such a fly in the ointment when everything else is going so well. Then respectable people with disabled children (like me) could use their kids' disability for nobel political ends; the filthy poor scum, of course, only have them to get benefits. We certainly don't want THEM in the umpteenth reincarnation of this Great Party. And the one-eyed, snotgobbling, wanked-out, moral compassing hypocrite in the other Tory party doesn't want them either. Where are they to go ? I know, how about some camps?
Great how, from the "ethnic minorities" this pampered effete fucking layabout ponce wants, just like Cyclops, to draw "the best and the brightest." I suppose he means those who go to Eton; row, row, row your boat. Not too many ragheads at Eton and Rugby. Great how this bloke who's never done a day's work in his pampered life -unless you call sobering up after one of his boozy,Bullingdon assaults on the poor of Oxford, working ( what a cunt) casts himself as just an ordinary geezer and wants everybody, actually, to go to Eton and Oxford and be rich and suck Michael Howard's petite, rancid, circumcised cock and be prime minister; yes, everybody should do it. A country of all the talents. Apart from the poor bastards, made poor by Thatcher, Major and Tony and Sharon Blair. How much of Cheshire does his Mrs own, again ? Is it ten thousand acres, or twenty? Right, Guido, real credentials. Bet they have to make some hard choices before they pay the mortgage.
No word of the biggest war crime this century, which he voted for. No word of the debt caused by top-up fees, which he voted for. Just fucking rabble rousing. Throw out the dirty, lazy poor bastards; throw out the wogs, unless they're bright doctors and members- preferably donors - of/to the Tory party.
You better pull yourself together, Guido, or change your nom de plume; you're beginning to speak the language of the oppressor; from your endorsement of Posh Layabout Dave's wanky little party piece it sounds as though you'd probably take a turn rotating the rack, or heating the irons. There is no difference between any of these lying thieving shameless cunts. You know that. Get with the fucking programme. A pox on all of them.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Stanislav said...Margaret Beckett, was, like Granny Theresa
I dunno if anyone ever noticed but formerForeign Secretary and before that, Plagues Secretary, Margaret Beckett, was, like Granny Theresa, a bit of a shoe fetishist (or it was Mr Beckett, back at home in the caravan, counting the packets of Izal toilet paper prior to a visit to the Peak District. Go on, Marge, he perhaps urged,wear those bondage boots I bought you, on the Front Bench. The mind boggles, innit?)
She wore extravagantly strappy and shiny shoes; much at odds with the rest of her apparel and, indeed, physiognomy. Or at least she did on the couple of occasions I managed to sustain my scrutiny of her. The horrible, toothy, rentboy cocksucker David Mellor, taking a break from listening to classical music with Gerald Injuction Kauffman, once jested on tv that hearing something from Margaret was getting it from the horse's mouth, it was a slip of the tongue but even poor miscast Mrs Beckett had to join in the hoots of derisory laughter. It is a cruel business, politics. Nowhere near fucking cruel enough, if you ask me.
The BBC's in-house speech-impaired, hunchback transexual, Ms Kirsty Wark of Wark-McConnell Scottish Labour plc rarely reveals her footwear to the viewers; probably just as well, bad enough looking at her face, as welcoming as a prison door.
If Guido can't furnish any May Grannyporn images, the desperate political wanker may gaze at Professor Germaine Greer's genitals over at Chase Me Ladies I'm In The Cavalry (click Germaine Greer's Gusset).
Stanislav make say is not so attractive, make queasy and shout for sickbag, stolen from last flight on AirPolski. Is very hairy. And professor wear dirty cheesy socks. Not stockings like normal, decent porno women. Is freakshow. Bon appetit.
Amadeus, lover of Stanislav said...Bestiality is ok amongst metropolitans, innit ?
- Amadeus, lover of Stanislav said...
Dennis
Re One man and his dog. Bestiality is ok amongst metropolitans, innit ? A bit like sun-dried tomatoes used to be.
By the way, were you and I ever in prison to-gether ? You have the tenor of an anarchist or some other kind of criminal misfit.
When you say that without Hatterjee Thatcher would not have , as Kipling would say, larged it so much, does this mean that you think he's a cunt, too?
it is so nice to meet a cultured person here; even if you are a jailbird.
Dominus ubiscum, as the child molesters mutter under their breath.- Dennis said...
Amadeus: I have never been in prison and I never done it, anyway I was drunk at the time.
Lord Roy is one of the architects of our progression down the ladder of misery. Thanks to him and his posse (1964-1970, 1974-79), Britain was ruined. He is a pompous old twat who should be put out to grass -- or perhaps crack cocaine.
Mr Sockpuppet. Yes is fucking delicious idea of catfight with Mel P and Yassi A-B beat each other with scripture. Is make fortune on grannyporn channel. Only these two lower tone.
Yasmin mention few dozen times that son is barrister-extortionist, maybe can referee; maybe sue Stanislav instead.
Is fucking horrible though, innit? Can't open her fucking trap without saying: speaking as a Muslim woman. How if everytime Stanislav go fix toilet up cheap he say: good morning, speaking as Polish plumber blah blah blah. Customer say: I know you is fucking Polish, say so on fucking van, innit, "Stanislav, Young Polish Plumber Ltd. Toilets Fixed-Up Cheap" say so on fucking blue boilersuit too, innit?
"Stanislav Polish Plumb Cheap 4 U" Just get on with the fucking job, eh?
Is no good go on Radio Four after July bomb and say: Speaking as Polish Plumber I think blah blah blah. Listener laugh out loud and say What's this Polish cunt on about.
But Yasmin different. Make lucrative career from accident of birth. Not like she go in Cracow nightschool learn how to be Muslim woman. Not like serve apprenticeship with head down toilet, up to elbows in other bloke shit, not like have to equip van and buy wrench and white stuff go round taps. No, is just born muslem woman, ready made. Is fucking billions of them. Yasmin should go on Al-Jazeera and say speaking as a Muslem woman; see what happen then. Get told shut the fuck up by valued co-religionist, go in fucking kitchen like good muslem woman. And cover-up ugly mush.
Is just fucking rank horrible BBC tokenistic multiculturalism con-trick from Radio fucking Four and Yasmin I-is-Muslem Uncle Tom Alibhai fucking Brown play along for money. Fool nobody.
Even uberCunt Trevor Phillips not believe no more in multicultural bollocks. In saying I is Muslem woman every five minutes Brown not aid absorption and integration like good Polish plumber who just get on with fix-uo toilet, instead exacerbate difference and tension. Instead of racist nit-picking, hair splitting and showing off on the radio proper muslem woman have proper job. Help husband in Kebab house.
Mr Hitch
Is too kind. But Lord Guido give Stanislav first break in showbiz -and also employ Stanislav teenage sisters as nanny concubine, teach Anglo-Irish manners and group sex techniques- so Stanislav stay loyal and only post here. Money is not everything. And anyway plenty toilet business for hard-working Pole is.
1:13 PM, October 29, 2007
Well stanislav
The offer remains open.
No doubt due to his eating habits, copious consumption of Guinness and Port
Fawkes also keeps you in regular lavatorial unblocking work.
More power to your elbow Stanisalv.
1:26 PM, October 29, 2007
Thank you Mr Hitch.
Is not just elbows, though, is knees, too. Hurt like fuck. Would go in out patient in hospital and see doctor but probably catch fucking Alan Johnstone Disease off dirty bastard not wash fucking hands since holiday in portugal and wind-up lie in shitty bed starving and get mercy execution from senior nurse. NHS, envy of fucking world.
1:51 PM, October 29, 2007